Recently on a Friday I tweeted that I was looking forward to not leaving the house for the whole weekend. Someone replied that that couldn’t be healthy. I can’t remember who it was now and that’s not important, everyone feels differently. However it got me thinking and this post was born.
A weekend not leaving the house is heaven to me. A whole week not leaving it is even better. I was snowed in for 11 days last December and the only thing I didn’t like about it was my neighbour having to get me supplies and then later having no water. The solitude was fantastic. I am able to work from home plus I have the company of my animals. And of course Social Media at the touch of my fingertips.
I haven’t always been like this. Up until my mid-thirties I had to be out nearly every night of the week and absolutely could not stay in on a weekend. I’d start planning Friday and Saturday nights out through the week so I knew I wouldn’t be stuck in – probably annoying my friends in the process. Especially when I lived in London. From my teens I worked part-time in pubs as well as my full time jobs. I realise now that was to make sure I was out.
I certainly wasn’t happy – I was constantly looking for happiness and thought that was to be found outside the house; maybe finding a lovely guy to settle down with; or being included in everything that was going on – whether I enjoyed it or not.
It cost a fortune too – luckily I was earning good money back then but still, to have wasted so much on nights out bugs me now. Theatre trips, lovely holidays and good restaurants provided great memories but the usual nights out weren’t always worth remembering at all.
Looking back at my life then I’m pretty sure all that wasn’t healthy at all. I now feel like I’ve been there and “got the T-shirt”.
I know I have gone from one extreme to another. Now I rarely go out and love being at home. But I’m happy. I haven’t found the lovely guy and not sure I still want to. He’d have to be pretty special at this time in my life. I really love the company of my 3 dogs and 2 cats and the adoration I get from them makes up for anything people think I’m probably missing out on. I am completely happy in my own company. Not many people can say that.
I live in the middle of nowhere and probably have a night out about once every two months. And that may be just visiting a friend’s house or a restaurant for dinner. I enjoy going to the cinema. I am finally in what I call my little heaven and love my walks through the fields and sometimes never seeing anyone for a few days. I do enjoy spending time with good friends – whether at home or out and about – but I’m choosy about it. A very wise woman once said to me “I haven’t the time to spend it with people I like never mind waste it on people I don’t”. I do have the time but I choose the best people to spend it with wherever possible.
This all probably seems unconventional to a lot of people. But is there anything wrong with that? I don’t spend a lot of money on going out or on clothes for going out which is handy as I don’t have it to spend any more. I don’t wake up with hangovers every weekend which then spoil the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my vino but not to the excesses that those nights out sometimes were.
And why does someone have to have a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife, partner or whatever? Not everyone finds the perfect one – believe me. Maybe being in a couple doesn’t make everyone happy, maybe not having children is actually ok, maybe being alone is good.
Alone is very different from lonely. I used to be lonely in a crowd of people. Actually I do still feel lonely in a crowd sometimes. But I never feel like that when I’m alone.
I’m not saying to people who love their lively social life that they are wrong – if anyone had said to me a few years ago that I’d love staying in and I’d be so much happier I would have said they were mad.
Each to their own. Do what makes you happy.
But don’t judge others because they aren’t doing what you normally do. Don’t think they should be doing the norm because it will make them happier – maybe it doesn’t.
So I’m looking forward to a long Easter weekend in my little heaven with some good books, films, sunshine and most of all peace. Maybe it’s just the way I am. 🙂